This is the page of quotes, you probably will not find them funny, but I did, at least at the time, so here they are!


(2/24/2004)
PurdueCory (10:05:56 PM): so do you still hate me?
cAIRee22 (10:06:36 PM): yup :-D but in the nicest way possible


(2/25/2004)
cAIRee22 (9:45:28 PM): we're weird like that
cAIRee22 (9:45:37 PM): and by weird, i mean completely cool

cAIRee22 (9:46:54 PM): kim and i are amusement for hours
cAIRee22 (9:47:00 PM): (don't take that in the wrong way...)

PurdueCory (10:02:55 PM): oh yes, you and me, we rock the world!
cAIRee22 (10:03:42 PM): yeah! one day, i'm gonna become president of the world
cAIRee22 (10:03:52 PM): i know that there is no world president, so i'll be the first one
After a bit more conversation, these appointments were made, based on the above fact...
- President of the World: Carrie
- Vice-President: Cory
- Speaker of the House: Kim
- Secretary of Defense against aliens: Ross
- Minister of making things work (Cory's bitch): Steve
- Commander of fun: Stephanie
- Carrie's bitch: Austin
- Super lawyer of the World: Amber


(2/26/04)
cAIRee22 (11:36:58 PM): i don't always have the brightest ideas
cAIRee22 (11:37:00 PM): lol
PurdueCory (11:37:28 PM): haha, they are very bright! its just that brightness comes from the blonde ;-)
cAIRee22 (11:38:14 PM): in that case, i'm like the neon yellow crayon in the crayon box that no one uses because it's so bright, but then if you really want a bright color, for like a sun in a picture or something, thats the first color you choose

cAIRee22 (11:40:26 PM): i'm the coolest! you used me!

cAIRee22 (11:45:07 PM): i wonder what color would it make if orange and neon yellow were combined?
cAIRee22 (11:45:10 PM): that would be amazing
PurdueCory (11:46:24 PM): that would be, that would be a damn bright bunch!
cAIRee22 (11:47:47 PM): haha...i'm the Damn Bright Bunch...ya know, like the Brady Bunch....but 10 x better!!!!!
cAIRee22 (11:51:22 PM): it's the damn bright bunch....one day this color met this other color, and they knew they'd be much better together...so they mixed and mixed, and made lots of swirls...and thats how they became the damn bright bunch!
cAIRee22 (11:51:27 PM): thats my theme song

cAIRee22 (11:55:08 PM): our holes are connected [ed note: she was referring to Kim]


Davenport I - (2/28/04 - 2/29/04)
Your hand is like a limp dick - Carrie

I thought I dreamed about beavers & platypi again, but I didn't... I don't think... - Kim

My new nicknames fom Carrie and Kim:
- Story Cory
- Cory-inthian
- whore cor (added 3/1)

Spread your legs! - Me, to Kim

Me and Kim being white:
- “Big pimping, spending gee's”
- “You see, what I did was, first I put my thing down, then I flipped it, and THEN I reversed it!”
- “For shizzle Bizzle”
- “What is up my brothers?”


(2/29/04)
ScCrSkAt (3:04:28 PM): maybe you're really just a frisbee on crack
ScCrSkAt (3:04:42 PM): but you think you're a big tough strong buff guy

ScCrSkAt (3:05:54 PM): i should be a scientist and figure out how to clone this sweatshirt

ScCrSkAt (4:03:10 PM): ok, before i get started again....take your chance and escape the claws of the alien lifeform...aka me....

cAIRee22 (8:59:09 PM): i am an idiot-genius [the idiot-genius theorum: bigness equals invisibility]

ScCrSkAt (9:17:49 PM): it'd be like stealing brains from a baby


(3/1/04)
cAIRee22: sometimes just laying there doing nothing is good

cAIRee22 (10:05:19 PM): ralph nader could be a girl
cAIRee22 (10:05:24 PM): who knows
cAIRee22 (10:05:30 PM): maybe it's ralphina

cAIRee22 (10:14:11 PM): i have the attention span of a 3 year old


(3/2/04)
cAIRee22 (10:37:11 PM): sleep is like crack...so amazing...but then after too much of it, you've basically screwed yourself over...and then all you want is more and more
cAIRee22 (10:41:28 PM): the idiot-genius says sleep = crack....don't question the idiot genius, she might turn vicious
PurdueCory (10:41:46 PM): the last thing we need is a vicious idiot-genius!
cAIRee22 (10:42:22 PM): i know....that could be dangerous
cAIRee22 (10:43:29 PM): rrrrrrrraaaaaaaarrrrrrrr
cAIRee22 (10:43:31 PM): thats my roar
cAIRee22 (10:44:12 PM): it's very scary
cAIRee22 (10:44:46 PM): watch this...it's even scarier if it's in CAPS:
cAIRee22 (10:44:52 PM): RRRRRAAAAAARRRRRRRR

cAIRee22 (10:49:09 PM): i'm EVIL
cAIRee22 (10:49:25 PM): just call me: Doctora EVIL
cAIRee22 (10:49:30 PM): thats spanish for doctor


(3/3/04)
cAIRee22 (9:07:28 PM): but you get to shove something up someone's butt


(3/4/04)
ScCrSkAt: :-) i'm like a vampire....with sugar


(3/7/04)
cAIRee22 (10:30:08 PM): so you will have to wait, young grasshopper, until a name for you comes flying out of my hole in my head

ScCrSkAt (12:24:51 AM): i put the fun in....fun

ScCrSkAt (2:08:05 AM): my brain's just like one of those prize machines...sometimes you get something good, other times you get nothing


(3/12/04)
stephysweetpea (1:46:54 AM): i was about to ask “what is?” before i stopped being stupid

stephysweetpea (2:15:44 AM): oh sure....i'm supposed to be easy while everyone else is hard!!!

stephysweetpea (2:38:30 PM): i'm getting dumber by the day


Pirate Party (3/12/04)
cAIRee22 (5:02:09 PM): shiver me timbers!
cAIRee22 (5:02:33 PM): i have no clue what that means, but it sounds cool...and whatever the heck timbers are, i'm sure it's funny to see them shiver

That's a girl look at if ever... - Steph

I didn't ask for details, I was just like, “Give me details!” - Steph

YOU'RE STARING AT MY TITS! - Dana shouting in Choo Choo Charlies with many little children around

We shouldn't be talking about this in a child-infested place. - Cory

You say it, I do it! - Steph


(3/14/04)
cAIRee22 (6:40:01 PM): a lighbulb went off in my head....and i was like “yeah!” but it was only like a 60-watter
PurdueCory (6:40:52 PM): wow carrie
cAIRee22 (6:41:14 PM): we all can't have 100 watt ideas all the time!
cAIRee22 (6:41:26 PM): don't discriminate again those 60 watts
cAIRee22 (6:41:30 PM): they need love too!
cAIRee22 (6:42:01 PM): i am the coolest 60-watter
cAIRee22 (6:42:08 PM): i am gonna start a 60-watter club


(3/18/04)
ScCrSkAt (2:24:04 AM): muahahaha...i'm like a fly that won't die!


Indy II (3/19/04 - 3/21/04)
- Theme: Goldfish
- Origin of theme: The fact that we were told the same story many times by Kim and Carrie (henseforth referred to as 'the girls') led us to believe that they had the same 3-second memory as a goldfish
- Final definition of theme: While the original meaning remained intact, during the course of the weekend, it began to draw on another meaning, namely the fact that the girls are attracted to shiny objects (i.e. glitter) much like fish :)

Tallys:
The “I Hate you!” count: (number of times either Steve or I was told we were hated)
Steve: 1 (by Carrie)
Cory: 5 (1 by Carrie, the rest were from Kim)

The number of times the trasitive property was brought up: 3 (this is skewed towards the low side though, we didn't always have the paper with us to keep track, the actual number is somewhere near 400)

Hits: (our girls like to hit us)
Somehow Steve and I ended up even on this one at 11 apiece

Handshake Count: 9 (Steve and I would congratulate each other on a job well done, usually in mocking the girls, with a handshake... again, this may be a little low ;)

Padiddle Count: (in case you've been living under a rock, a padiddle is a car with a headlight out... but we've expanded the definition to include what we call 'half-padiddles,' which are cars that have 4 lights in front (two headlights and two driving lights) with one of the 4 out... the mathematical definition of how much of a padiddle a given car with a headlight out is worth is 2/n, where n is the number of lights that should be working on the front of the car)
Steve: 2 and a half
Cory: 12
Kim/Carrie: 2 (added one a week later, they think they still count...)

Total score: (since the girls think they always win, they say so often. Every time they said 'I win!' they got a point... again, this number is skewed horribly downward, the actuall total could very well be in the millions... Steve and I just decided we got a point so we didn't get shut out :)
Kim/Carrie: 3
Steve/Cory: 1

Quotes:
- These are all quotes written down in our notebook throughout the trip, or if the notebook wasn't handy, we would use whatever means we had available (i.e. IM, or text messages) to keep track, since Steve and I realized that the goldfish theme applies to us too, we can't remember jack after about 2 minutes... so, without further ado, here come the quotes! (in approximate order of their birth from the minds of whoever said them)

My legs smell good! - Kim

I = We - Theorum of Kim and Carrie

He's underground... you know, like in Arizona - Carrie, on where Tupac is hiding so the world thinks he's dead

My fish puked on me! - Carrie

You only have one burger... made out of fish - Cory

They're like goldfish! - Cory (the origin of the theme for the weekend)

Oh yeah?! Well you're like clockwatches! - Kim and Carrie
(this requires some explanation... They were trying to think of a spanish word that they knew, but didn't know how to pronounce it or spell it, to Steve and I it sounded like clockwatches, and when they tried to spell it, this is what they came up with: tlacuaches)

Remember, 'u' goes with 'q'! - Carrie

My hand has lost the will to live - Carrie, many many times

I hate sarcasm - Carrie
You're dating Ross!! - Cory

That popcorn is kind of spicy, I bet your brother put some kind of spice on it - Steve

Jizz and Fist - All of us

H... I... Jizz... K - Carrie

Oh no! My pant's are falling down! - Carrie

What? My brain? It's not very deep and depth-worthy - Kim

I'm on the floor in an awkward position - Kim

There is crap in the hole, so I'm cleaning it out with my knife - Ross, at Hooters

Our waitress' chest is throbbing... it's like they have their own heartbeat! - Kaaveh, at Hooters

No! It's just weird, 'cause it's sunday again! - Kim

Yourself go fuck - Ross

I haven't been loud today... all the time - Carrie

Your friends need to shut-up at 3AM in the morning - Ross, on what he thinks his roommates would say about us

Austin sneaks up on me all the time and makes me screech - Butterfly

I have to love you today 'cause you smell good - Butterfly

I type more legibly than I write - Steve

They were free - so I stole them - Cory

Do you know where we got those balls? - Austin
I got mine at birth! - Cory

I think all the drippies are out - Carrie, on how she thinks her hair is dry

I'm thinking I'll do it if you do me - Steve, to Kim

Just drop me if you want me to go down - Carrie

There's gotta be a way that I don't have to be alone in the back seat... - Cory
Um... Blow-up doll? - Carrie

Transitive property my ass! - Cory
No, your swearshirt - Carrie
(this exchange was due to the fact that Kim forgot to take my sweatshirt when we dropped her off, and so Carrie decided that she should get it, since her having it was just like Kim having it, due to the transitive property)

Meanwhile, in the back seat, Cory's leg fell asleep... the whole thing... not just a foot - Cory

*The blinker stays on after Steve turns a corner*
What the...?! That's not supposed to happen - Steve
Oh no, is that the rotator cuff that just broke? - Cory
Yeah, it is - Steve
Damn - Cory
Wait! What's that? What does it do? - Kim
It makes the car run - Cory
Oh no! How much further can we go?! - Kim
We'll be lucky to make it to your house - Steve
That's not good... - Kim


(3/24/04)
cAIRee22 (9:39:04 PM): the guilt trip...it's like a concealed weapon

cAIRee22 (9:40:23 PM): i'm always a shoe-in for a stupid quote

cAIRee22 (10:46:53 PM): i'm not a billboard!


(3/25/04)
cAIRee22 (7:12:00 PM): and by party, i mean staying home and doing laundry

It's not your butt! It's my butt! - Betsy

You look 3-D... you ARE 3-D! - Betsy


(3/27/04)
Why do you have to be so conservative? You're gay! - Becky


(3/28/04)
--Aftermath of the 'rotator cuff' incident--
cAIRee22 (11:24:25 AM): on your quote page...the whole “rotator cuff broke” thing...was that just a trick you guys played to scare us?!
PurdueCory (11:24:57 AM): us?! no!!
cAIRee22 (11:25:13 AM): oh my gosh!!
cAIRee22 (11:25:21 AM): i actually believed something had broken!!
cAIRee22 (11:25:24 AM): i hate you!!
cAIRee22 (11:26:16 AM): JERK
PurdueCory (11:26:29 AM): oh come on, it was funny
cAIRee22 (11:26:41 AM): no it wasn't!!
PurdueCory (11:26:50 AM): yeah it was
cAIRee22 (11:26:53 AM): because we just now found out it was a joke! [ed note: this was a week ago that this happened... and it's been online for as long]
cAIRee22 (11:27:36 AM): >:o we both believed something had really broken!
cAIRee22 (11:34:54 AM): you should know we don't know anything about cars!
PurdueCory (11:35:57 AM): hehe, thats why it was funny
cAIRee22 (11:37:28 AM): whatever! just wait...we'll get you guys back!
PurdueCory (11:37:32 AM): sure you will
cAIRee22 (11:37:57 AM): we will! don't underestimate our evil-ness

...she likes naked pictures and vaginas, so get in the fuckin' hallway! - Steph

We're sucking partners! - Betsy

I like my balls close together... - Steph

Just whack it around a little... - Steph


(3/29/04)
I've been told that I'm better at giving head... massages than I am at giving back massages - Amber


(3/31/04)
ScCrSkAt (5:01:36 PM): i'm always quiet


(4/2/04)
cAIRee22 (10:14:07 PM): you can come here and get some!


(4/3/04)
I'm either hungry... or something else... shut up - Steph

cAIRee22 (10:49:46 PM): meanwhile...carrie might have to take a blow-up doll as a date


(4/8/04)
I feel like my world is just spinning... or maybe that's the fan - Steph


Davenport III - (4/9/04 - 4/10/04)
I like your bulge - Cory, to Steve

Don't give me that look... you know I'm stupid! - Carrie

Amber has a fourth hole - Carrie

I'm going to laugh when you have a heart attack! Not really... I love you! - Kate

I can't go down there... - Megan

I don't go down that easy! - Megan

If I'm going down, I'm going to go down fighting! - Megan [ed note: are we noticing a theme here? ;)]

Where's China? - Amber

My breasts are going to be popped! - Ashley
Man, it's wet!! - Austin

It's really hard to fit 3 people in there - Ellyn


(4/11/04)
Stanfth (8:36:38 PM): guess what?!?
PurdueCory (8:37:01 PM): what?
Stanfth (8:37:06 PM): argggggg im a pirate
Stanfth (8:37:11 PM): now guess what
Stanfth (8:38:17 PM): argggg im a pirate with an eye patch (imagine me putting one hand over one of my eyes)

Stanfth (8:57:27 PM): im Chinese!

Stanfth (9:17:51 PM): its ok it wont hurt when i eat u trust me
Stanfth (9:18:03 PM): well then again ive never eatean myself but

What the heck is that?! Oh, it's just my birthmark... - Amber


(4/13/04)
cAIRee22 (12:07:52 AM): well, i have no doubts as to your amazing talents, so i'm sure it's great [ed note: ok, not really funny, but what can I say ;)]

cAIRee22 (12:41:04 AM): i don't dance with the devil!

Stanfth (9:59:59 PM): gosh im so cute!


(4/16/04)
cAIRee22 (1:19:10 AM): i can't wait to see me

cAIRee22 (1:19:33 AM): shut me up


90's Dance Party Weekend - (4/16/04 - 4/18/04) [ed note: one of the most fun weekends of my life]
Isn't it sad that nowhere delivers chips? - Steph

It's really hard for me to keep my legs together - Amber [ed note: Yep, thats my girlfriend! :-D]

I don't think I'll ever get a cock ring - Joe

Parallel spiking is bad - Me [ed note: you had to be there...]

Get back here bitch! - Me
Is that the ball's name? - Steph
Yes, its name is 'Bitch Wilson' - Me


(4/19/04)
Stanfth (9:21:25 PM): of course i do people often

cAIRee22 (11:26:34 PM): hmm...i'm warning you, i have suspicions that my brain picks up alien signals, so there may be some interferance


(4/18/04)
PurdueCory (12:30:51 AM): yeah, that whole hating me thing didnt work well, did it? :-P
cAIRee22 (12:30:57 AM): i still do
cAIRee22 (12:30:59 AM): don't worry
PurdueCory (12:31:35 AM): haha, no you dont, you can deny all you want, but youre slowly starting to love me :-D
cAIRee22 (12:33:09 AM): what's your point?
cAIRee22 (12:33:16 AM): lol
PurdueCory (12:33:26 AM): well you cant hate me and love me at the same time!
cAIRee22 (12:33:48 AM): i can mutli-task
cAIRee22 (12:34:15 AM): :-D

ScCrSkAt (4:04:31 PM): guess what...i'm a drug with lots of side effects


(4/21/04)
Get your penis away from me, you anorexic twig! - Hillary

It's nice to have obedient balls - Steph


(4/22/04)
cbtrfly06 (4:43:19 PM): I'm investigating.. but more slowly due to my more thorough investigation of the pizza in the fridge


(4/26/02)
knight9man (11:45:50 PM): haha i guess i'm just the liason pimp between d-port and p-ville

cAIRee22 (11:47:43 PM): if all else fails, just show up naked

cAIRee22 (11:59:38 PM): my job is to eat


(4/29/04)
Stanfth (3:17:09 PM): will you be my Pimp?

stephysweetpea (4:23:28 PM): my clocks are fighting


(5/4/04)
cAIRee22 (10:06:06 PM): rules are like peanuts, most people dont want them on their ice cream (ice cream = life) so i just opted out of them..."i'd like my life without peanuts please"

cAIRee22 (10:59:43 PM): i have come to the realization that my life is one big ball of confusion


(5/5/04)
I'm the queen in the kingdom of suckdom - Hillary


(5/6/04)
It's the lack of coordination of Kyle, Joe, and Steve combined into one dorky kid! - Me


(5/7/04)
ScCrSkAt (4:51:47 PM): scary movies are.....scary

If you want to hear her giggle, take her home and... give her a massage or something - Some loser employee at Wal-Mart


(5/8/04)
SexySalz (2:10:22 PM): your website is great for procrastinating


(5/9/04)
cAIRee22 (10:42:47 PM): you can't see it, but i'm making a mad face

cAIRee22 (11:29:30 PM): you can wind me up and play with me at your convenience

cAIRee22 (11:31:19 PM): i'm a playable person

cAIRee22 (11:38:11 PM): my code name is cooly McCoolerson
PurdueCory (11:38:59 PM): and how did you get that code name?
cAIRee22 (11:39:08 PM): that's for me to know and you to find out
cAIRee22 (11:39:17 PM): i just don't give out this type of information for free
cAIRee22 (11:40:09 PM): there are strict rules about this
cAIRee22 (11:40:12 PM): in the CIA
cAIRee22 (11:41:06 PM): and by CIA, i mean the Carrie Is Amazing society

PurdueCory (11:45:10 PM): so whats lisas name in this society?
cAIRee22 (11:47:00 PM): Stanfth (10:52:47 PM): Alotta Ice cold Vigina


(5/10/04)
cAIRee22 (7:01:42 PM): random is my middle name
cAIRee22 (7:01:54 PM): cooly "random" McCoolerson

Bubandbtrfly (11:13:29 PM): I am crazy... lalalalalalala


(5/11/04)
Sometimes I make noise - Steph
I don't make noise - Adele

General concensus is that if I had a woman, it would be you - Steph
But I'm not a woman! - Adele

Did you know it's hard to look at the underside of your knee? - Steph


(5/12/04)
Bubandbtrfly (2:01:32 PM): I'm mighty mouse!


Davenport IV (5/14/04 - 5/16/04)
from the quote napkin...
I don't think there's ever been a tattoo artist with epilepsy - Steph

"Oh that is sexy. That makes me want to jump you... except not - Steph to Austin about his new "tattoo"

We call 'em dicks... - Carrie
Oh, we call them boobs - Amber

It wasn't as bad as he makes it out to be... - Steph
How would you know?! - Amber, on Steph's Pimps 'n' Hoes party experience

If you're gonna hit it, you gotta hit it hard! - Steve

from the rest of the weekend
The infinite frog?! - Kim [ed note: you've got to see the pic]

We don't give hole, we are hole... - Steph

My toe feels naked - Carrie

No points.... rounded edges everywhere! - Steph on either her or Carrie's storytelling skills (either would work...;)

So what are you doing tonight? Gettin' on Steve, makin' some babies? - Amber, to Steph

It's like the ball family reunion! - Kim

Men are trash 'til proven gay - Ashley [ed note: just cause I don't agree with it, doesn't make it's not still worthy of the quote page ;)]

You can't take the "lil" off until your balls drop - Steph

Juno is holding her buddy list hostage - Steph

Also, we came up with some new internet vocabulary thanks to an unsuspecting, random girl on aim...
lol idk (lawl-id'ka) n. - 1. A furry bobcat-like animal. 2. Slang The penis or vagina.
ic (i-see) n., pl. icics (i-see-i-seez). - 1. Slang Breasts.


(5/16/04)
Gerdy2222 (8:47:20 PM): gross...my head is peeling!

cAIRee22 (10:14:23 PM): amber can be the super lawyer of the world
**updated the world appointments**

cAIRee22 (11:28:10 PM): i don't know...it's gotta be some gravity, global warming, life on mars sort of thing
cAIRee22 (11:29:09 PM): super natural...can't really explain my suckage


(5/17/04)
How can you not poke her in the boob?! - Adam


(5/18/04)
I'm hydrated! - Matt, from the bathroom after he notices his pee is clear


(5/20/04)
cAIRee22 (1:27:43 AM): corys are for lots o' lovin! ;-)

My upper lip is drunk - Katie

I was sober, that was until I got really drunk - Katie

She is an ostrich and you are her sand - Me, to Steph, about how Katie was burying her head in Steph

My grandma lives in Carroll, IA, that doesn't mean I live there... well, she's buried there... - Steph


(5/24/04)
That girl is a cat with herpes! - Midget

No way... '65? We barely had a man on the moon! - Midget

Leaving on a jet plane to go die! - Midget, on the classic John Denver song


(5/26/04)
Stanfth (4:12:48 PM): guess what
Stanfth (4:12:58 PM): Im a ROCK STAR!!!!!


(5/27/04)
cAIRee22 (12:04:12 AM): i'm easy

cAIRee22 (12:12:37 AM): guess what?
PurdueCory (12:12:41 AM): what?
cAIRee22 (12:12:44 AM): get ready, i'm about to use a big word
PurdueCory (12:12:57 AM): :-o
cAIRee22 (12:13:08 AM): i've come to the conclusion that cory and jerk are synonymous

cAIRee22 (12:17:46 AM): remember...my brain is manual[ed note: manual as in the old Model T's where you had to crank it to start it]
cAIRee22 (12:17:52 AM): it works slower...
cAIRee22 (12:18:01 AM): (and no comment about how manual is actually faster...)[ed note: can be taken two ways ;)]

cAIRee22 (12:20:43 AM): i am not just here to be ridden

cAIRee22 (12:24:18 AM): certain things do not belongs in mouths...bugs, for instance


(5/28/04)
cAIRee22 (12:09:31 PM): if i so happen to run across any free cars...i'll get it for myself first since i don't have one...but if i happen to run across TWO free cars, i'll get you one too

ScCrSkAt (4:02:47 PM): nope
ScCrSkAt (4:02:52 PM): not since i'm smarter than you
ScCrSkAt (4:03:02 PM): which was proved by me saying so
PurdueCory (4:04:13 PM): ah yes
PurdueCory (4:04:16 PM): how could i forget?!
ScCrSkAt (4:04:59 PM): i have no clue
ScCrSkAt (4:05:02 PM): you must be braindead


(5/29/04)
I go pee every day and I don't get any prizes - Colton, about how Mackenzie (my other little cousin) wanted a treat after going to the bathroom by herself


(5/31/04)
Timbers124 (1:50:31 AM): and i have the tit to prove it

cbtrfly06 (3:15:17 PM): FOREVER!! Or at least the rest of the month

cAIRee22 (6:28:07 PM): ...umm...i hate to break it to you, but thinking is not really my thing

It's because we were going through the Alps, and I get motion sickness... - Amber, about how she was sick after her trip to New York

cAIRee22 (10:02:16 PM): you know, there's a show on TV called "the naked chef"
cAIRee22 (10:02:23 PM): but don't let the name fool you
cAIRee22 (10:02:27 PM): the guy's not naked
cAIRee22 (10:02:34 PM): i was disappointed


(6/1/04)
cAIRee22 (10:01:17 PM): it's a love/hate relationship...you think i love you, but i really hate you!

cAIRee22 (10:02:06 PM): you're my last resort dude


Joe's 21st (6/3/04)
This is technically a car, just with an extended middle - Dave Kelly

Why do we want to die? - Dave Kelly

It looks like someone pissed on your pants and you put them on - Kyle

Tell them if they want to bang, they can bang in here! - Mark, the limo driver

I can be attractive if you want me to be - Dana

I have black man lips - Joe

I'm not into enunciation - Leslie

Broccoli causes cancer - Leslie

I am single and looking for my boyfriend - Steve

I was calling you a slut. It was hilarious - Dano


Graduation Weekend (6/4/04 - 6/6/04)
I'm choking on a nut - Kim

We had to mail it to the U.S. Department of Passport-ation - Carrie

Ooh! I sparkle - Kim

I don't eat nuts - Carrie

I lose, damnnit - Amber


(6/8/04)
cAIRee22 (11:23:03 PM): shake your ytoob!! [ed note: thats booty backwards]

cAIRee22 (11:25:19 PM): i wonder if you could shake your ytoob and booty at the same time
cAIRee22 (11:25:21 PM): ....
cAIRee22 (11:25:31 PM): thats the question of the day
cAIRee22 (11:26:12 PM): it might be like shaking in circles

cAIRee22 (11:32:57 PM): i'm not a ytoob slut


(6/11/04)
Eat me. I want you to eat me - Amber's Steph


(6/14/04)
cAIRee22 (10:47:16 PM): i'm good at doing it later at night
PurdueCory (10:47:31 PM): and... QUOTES PAGE!
cAIRee22 (10:47:47 PM): shit
cAIRee22 (10:48:06 PM): i'm gonna duct tape my mouth shut and cut off my fingers
cAIRee22 (10:48:15 PM): in that order
cAIRee22 (10:48:28 PM): because it would be hard to put duct tape on my mouth without my fingers
cAIRee22 (10:48:32 PM): see, i'm a thinker

cbtrfly06 (10:47:39 PM): I want more weekend


(6/17/04)
cbtrfly06 (9:53:21 AM): *dies*


(7/6/04)
cAIRee22 (10:54:52 PM): oh, by the way, i have more news of interest to you
cAIRee22 (10:57:43 PM): fdjlkghaiotulkfads
cAIRee22 (10:57:46 PM): that right there
cAIRee22 (10:57:48 PM): thats it
cAIRee22 (10:57:54 PM): sorry to disappoint


(7/8/04)
PurdueCory (10:27:22 AM): quiet you!
cbtrfly06 (10:27:28 AM): O:-)
cbtrfly06 (10:27:57 AM): I'm very very quiet
cbtrfly06 (10:28:01 AM): I'm hunting wabbits


(7/12/04)
cAIRee22 (4:03:53 PM): my room is the black hole of death


(7/13/04)
ScCrSkAt (12:18:13 AM): ok, i'm tires
PurdueCory (12:18:34 AM): are you michelin?
PurdueCory (12:18:37 AM): or goodyear?
ScCrSkAt (12:18:37 AM): no
ScCrSkAt (12:18:40 AM): goofyear
ScCrSkAt (12:18:44 AM): oops
PurdueCory (12:18:45 AM): thats it!
PurdueCory (12:18:48 AM): goofyear!
PurdueCory (12:18:51 AM): thats you in a word
ScCrSkAt (12:18:57 AM): ahhhhh
ScCrSkAt (12:19:02 AM): that better not go ont he site
ScCrSkAt (12:19:18 AM): you can't use my sleepiness to your advantage
PurdueCory (12:19:18 AM): umm, its being added as we speak
PurdueCory (12:19:22 AM): i sure can!
ScCrSkAt (12:19:34 AM): that's like some form of word rape or something
ScCrSkAt (12:19:40 AM): ok, i'm done
ScCrSkAt (12:19:42 AM): night


(7/14/04)
cAIRee22 (11:12:27 AM): time out...knock yourself upside the head...and now remind yourself who you are talking to

cAIRee22 (11:18:48 AM): i break things!


(7/22/04)
If you got drunk, we could do stuff - Ali

Stop going! - Ali, to her pee [ed note: alcohol may have been involved]

Guys, I'm OK - Ali
...and I'm black - Joe


(7/25/04)
I am THE blonde - Carrie

When I am doing somethng other than thinking, I can't really think - Carrie

It's not that I don't, it's more like I can't - Carrie


(7/29/04)
cAIRee22 (12:21:53 AM): cory...everytime you lie, an angel starts on fire!

Ali says: i'm shiny and silver and new!

That's what they all say... and then someone ends up on the quotes page - Kim

cAIRee22 (11:41:12 PM): shut up
cAIRee22 (11:41:18 PM): that made sense before i typed it
cAIRee22 (11:42:31 PM): i'm blaming it on my near death experience

cAIRee22 (11:44:30 PM): it just sort of happened
cAIRee22 (11:44:32 PM): you know
cAIRee22 (11:44:47 PM): i bet thats what a lot of people say, and then they end up with 5 kids in a trailer park


(7/31/04) [ed note: my half birthday]
cAIRee22 (12:06:51 AM): yeah, that's right, who wants to touch me!

cAIRee22 (12:09:16 AM): i am getting a restraining order
cAIRee22 (12:09:26 AM): for the quotes page


(8/2/04)
ScCrSkAt (3:50:37 PM): i have too much fun with my mouth

ScCrSkAt (3:51:47 PM): i'm done talking! forever! or at least until i have to talk again before i explode


(8/12/04)
Look! Our cleavage is glittery! - Kim

She's wet. Not down there, up there - Ali

Dude! She took it all! - Ross

She'll eat anything she can get her mouth on - Steve

Do you want me to suck your cock? - Ali


(8/13/04)
cAIRee22 (12:49:12 PM): i'm a kissing slut


Camping at Blackhawk (8/15/04 - 8/16/04)
Will he pee if I touch him? - Ali

I'm trying to be really smart today, but it's not coming out all right - Ali

I can't open my throught and take it all like you can - Cory to Ross

What's Kim's last name again? All I can think of is crouton - Steph

Cock is not cursing, it's like a prayer - Steph

Crap is not a C word - Steph

Penis! - Steph (repeatedly)

Oh Stephen! That made me wet! - Steph

I think Steve and I just decided that I should suck his cock! - Steph

I think every girl wants a black baby - Ali

She doesn't beat around the bush - Ross
There's no bush to beat around! - Ali


(8/17/04)
I need something to suck on - Kayla

I've had enough banging for one night - Carrie

I like this finger! - Carrie
[Cory gets out his phone to record the quote]
And I hate that damned phone! - Carrie


Moving Carrie into SLU (8/18/04 - 8/19/04)
My wheels are going sixty! - Cory

Holy cow, there's a six, five car accident - Cory

Maybe he didn't get it... feed him another one - Kim, after Carrie fed me a Checker's fry to show me how good they were

Park is a good gear to be in - Cory

If you see a picture of a chicken, a cat, or any type of cheese, you have purchased the wrong product entirely - Edy's Ice Cream Commercial

You don't have enough limbs to hold onto all of my limbs - Kim
Technically speaking, he has one more limb than you, Kim - Carrie

I just beat myself two out of three times in Tic-Tac-Toe - Kim


(8/20/04)
My computer is possessed by the administator - Steph

Wow, I sounded like Tyrannasaurus Rex in there! - Steph


(8/26/04)
Black children! - Steph

Megan, baby, please come... Are you coming? - Betsy

Thank you for making me come - Megan #2

You're like a fucking vibrator man! - Steph

It just wouldn't be Betsy if she did it straight - Steph

I was doing good on top of my bed this morning - Nichole


(8/28/04)
Drove past a pond, saw a duck... that was cool - Adam


(9/1/04)
I don't got a 6-pack, I got a keg! - Megan
So when can I tap that?! - Matt


(9/2/04)
ScCrSkAt (1:08:10 PM): guess what
ScCrSkAt (1:09:36 PM): there's a girl on my floor who has crabs!
ScCrSkAt (1:09:40 PM): i want one!


(1/1/05)
This is really long - Stephy

Why am I naked? - Kelli

cAIRee22 (12:15:09 AM): that is my new years resolution
cAIRee22 (12:15:17 AM): to not be on the quotes page

LORASknight9man (12:19:08 AM): What happend in NAC stays in NAC :-D

cAIRee22 (12:25:31 AM): don't make me threaten to cut off your penis too
PurdueCory (12:26:09 AM): HAHA
PurdueCory (12:26:10 AM): what?!
cAIRee22 (12:26:19 AM): i already threatened steve
cAIRee22 (12:26:27 AM): apparently i am just in the mood to cut off a penis


(1/3/05)
That's what I'm good for, a good job - Carrie

You're mean to me - KT
You deserve it, you're female - Austin

We're supposed to get a bunch of snow tonight - Cory
Like 6 - 10"... that means we'll get about 1.5" - Steve
It's a man's 10" - Ross

At least it's always hard - Ross
You know, an erection lasting 4 or more hours requires medical attention - Cory
I was at Ali's the other night... - Steve

[I open Steve's new phone]
Command please - Steve's phone
Suck my cock! - Cory
Name please - Steve's Phone
_________ - Cory [ed note: name omitted to protect the innocent ;)]

That's the money shot - Cory


(1/4/05)
cAIRee22 (5:03:48 PM): i really think guys would be perpetually happy if left with a pool table, beer, a big screen TV, and a lazy boy recliner


(1/7/05)
These are the people that sing that one song! - Amber
What? Roam, Rock Lobster? - Cory
No.... oh wait, this is the song I was thinking of... - Amber
Yes, these people do sing this song - Cory[ed note: can you name that group and song?]


(1/18/05) beqa babe (10:02:39 PM): the enter key is a premature ejaculator[ed note: this is really Carrie]

beqa babe (10:08:37 PM): i am an innocent whore![ed note: Carrie again]


My 21st Birthday week - (1/29/05 - 2/6/05)
I love life - Steph

Isn't he such a man-whore? - Sully on Steve

More water please bitch - Betsy

Sully and I love you very much, I love crayons, thanks for having us over, I love being drunk - kt

You can tell Matt that you rode me last night - Shannon

We.... hate .... porn.... very.... much.... - kt

NO we don't make out - kt

We haven't made out all night thank you very much - kt

get your fucking gun - betsy

Call me if you get lost on, like, Cox street - Steve
You'll be lucky if they get to the Beckman parking lot - Shannon

If we get married... err if I get married, or he gets married to a female, we will shake hands and say "go fuck" - Steve on him and Ross at their weddings

Take a hit and pass it - Steve (about Godiva Liqueur)

It's as cold as piss outside... when piss is cold... - Steve

Apparently 18 million is the number of the day because I've been using it in all of my exaggerations - Steph

"Sully, Sully, Sully, Sully" - kt

You smell like a combination of smoke and Steve - Steph, to Steve

cAIRee22 (7:01:27 PM): what are you doing on the computer?! you dumbo! you better be at least halfway to drunk
PurdueCory (7:02:18 PM): hahaha
PurdueCory (7:02:21 PM): its only 7!
cAIRee22 (7:02:44 PM): you're 21! we can both throw around numbers...but the real problem here is that you are coherent
cAIRee22 (7:05:05 PM): 21st birthday = cory drunk and incoherent (you can't break this equation cory)
cAIRee22 (7:07:35 PM): Cory Ought to be Really eally eally eally Yucky drunk right now
cAIRee22 (7:07:40 PM): see it even fits in your name
cAIRee22 (7:07:48 PM): you are like messing with the stars here dude
[ed note: This was Carrie's away message immediately after this exchange]
Homework...I'm not letting myself back on the computer tonight because it distracts me too much!
Cory...go get drunk, now! that's an order! it's what 21st birthdays were created for! ;-)

stephysweetpea: WE LOVE YOU BETSY!
Smylier2001: I HATE YOU ALL
stephysweetpea: no you dont :-D
Smylier2001: yes i do...give me a min
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: I HATE YOU ALL
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: DIE ALL!
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: wait
Smylier2001: ok...
Smylier2001: im done
Smylier2001: I LOVE YOU ALL

Cory - (2 * friend) = 0 * friends - Me, on what I would be like if Steve and Steph both left town without me

You're more of a slut than a whore - Joe, to Adele

(2/6/05)
...by the way, who names their kid Ramses? - Steph


(3/4/05)
They would skip the buzz stage and go straight to the dead stage - Carrie, on the stages of fish if we were to give them alcohol

...circumstantial condition - Carrie, her phrase of the night


(3/12/05) - One crazy ass night!
Mirror mirror on the Betsy, who's the prettiest whos not wetsey - Steph

I need an instant messaging program - Cory
There's one on my computer! - Steph

quit stop fucking her - Steve

This is soo not fair! What can I do to get more alcohol? - KT
Become sober - Cory
...OK, I'm sober now, can I have some more? - KT
No - Cory


Betsy's 22nd Birthday weekend - (3/18/05 - 3/20/05)
Jesus Christ is a prude - Stephy

I deepthroated the buttershots condom without the bottle - Stephy

I have no concept of what your dick is - Stephy, to Cory

Why else would I talk except to go on the quotes page? - stephy

If you have the chance to suck cracker crumbs off her pants, do it... you only live once! - Steph

I remember finishing... and then I woke up - Steve

Steve likes high heels - Cory
They strengthen my calves! - Steve

The snowball cop incident
So, Steve, Betsy and I are walking out of the AveNew to my car, and I get hit with a snowball. Extremely confused as to where this came from, I look around trying to find out where this came from. A couple snowballs later I discover these two (undoubtedly horrifically ugly girls) on a balcony yelling things like "you're fat" and "you're ugly" at us as well as throwing said snowballs. Steve and I, not to be outdone, start launching snowballs right back at them. This was not an easy task, as they were probably 20 yards away from us, about 30 feet above us, and we were both half drunk. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I decide to stop and go to get into the car. At just that time, a cop comes around the corner, rolls down his windows and asks me if they were throwing snowballs. Without missing a beat, I say "yes." The cop drives away and turns the corner to go and give them an stern talking-to. We all just laugh and drive away :-D

Stephy doesn't bitch, she complains happily! - Betsy

I'm not made of towels - Adele

I knew I could make you cum with a fist - Betsy

I would gladly bite your penis off - Cory to Tom

So this was druunken sex? - Bert
Yeah, that's the only way I'd do it unless I really loved him - Betsy

You are like the Sergio Garcia of racking - Steph, to Steve

waggle... - Steph


(3/22/05)
Drinking makes me want to bite - Steph


(3/30/05)
stephysweetpea (12:28:01 PM): haha, wow, your quotes page is so fun
stephysweetpea (12:28:07 PM): drinking does make me want to bite
stephysweetpea (12:28:13 PM): just reading that makes me want to bite


(4/27/05)
mjproadrunner07: he thinks hes such a hottie and he can get anyone
mjproadrunner07: but in reality, hes not good looking and he has a small dick
PurdueCory: HAHAHAHAHA
mjproadrunner07: he does
mjproadrunner07: hes so proud of himself and i was like, proud of what?
mjproadrunner07: can we say pencil dick?
mjproadrunner07: yes we can

stephysweetpea (12:37:55 AM): i'm going through pop withdrawal
stephysweetpea (12:38:05 AM): i'm not a caffeine addict... i just really like the fizziness:-)


(4/28/05)
Driving after you've been drinking is like fucking your sister... it's not right but it's convenient! - Alisha

Katie did you go dancing with us? - Cory


The last weekend of school (5/6/05 - 5/8/05)
Friday night:
Comments from THE LIST:
Steve Mapes sucks at KARA-TE
Adele Lyden is the woman
Betsy Muir is the pink bitch
Stephanie Oxenford - oh snap!
Cory Forseth smells
Jaclyln Partlow (Adele sux at spelling) :)
Amber Levetzow is Cory's bitch
Kyle Dvorak sucks boobs
Jason Flogel is gorgeous :)
Tabitha Schnittjer will make out with you :)
Kathleen Glady brings cookies :)
Joseeph Trapani has a large head

Darn him for being big - Steph
But I like them small! - Adele

Give it here, I own that crotch - Amber

Our phrases for the night:
Cory: The many forms of "Bitch"
Steph: "Ohhhh, SNAP!"
Dana: "Psych!"
Adele: "DENIED!"
Amber: "Whore!"
Steve: "I'm the bouncer, bitch!"
Megan: "Slut!"
Betsy: "Suck it"

You're coming to the toga party - Adele
I don't do togas - Sully
But you'd look so good in a sheet! - Steph

I'm wearing a Spongebob seat! - Adele

Look what Cory did to my pants! - Megan
I made you wet, didn't I? - Cory

I just got forked in the mouth - Megan

Damn you for getting me wet - Adele

I'm having fun playing with myself - Betsy

Apparently I write better when I'm drunk - Adele

Adele is petting me with her leg and... well... I don't know what Kyle is doing with my butt - Steph

My beer is getting cold - Adele

Foot + Crotch = BAD - Cory

I am short and stout! - Betsy

Where's my box? - Adele
Do you want me to point out your box? - Steph

Adele, where's your Miller Lite? - Someone[ed note: On the sheet of paper, this really is attributed to "someone"]
In my box! - Adele

Saturday night:
[ed note: When you beat a level in Super Mario Brothers 3, you get a congratulatory letter from Princess Toadstool. I paraphrased them for Steph and Betsy}
Mario,
You are fucking hot. I would totally suck your dick. Just call me.
Princess Toadstool
ps. here's a P-wing!

Dude,
You fucking rock. I haven't even sucked your dick yet and I totally want to fuck you right now. Seriously, just give me a call on my cell phone (my note: it gives her number but I'm not telling that... I'm censoring it....) and I'll do you anytime.
Princess Toadstool
ps. here's a cloud!

I'm going to be ridiculously conservative. Ya know what? I'm gonna be catholic for this level - Cory

I'm like a schizophrenic at Mario - Cory, while playing both Mario and Luigi

Do you know what the banana river is? - Steph
I think its in Mexico... - Betsy

I can't believe I don't know a friend of yours from home and he goes to my school - Cory
He doesn't go to your school - Steph
Are you sure?? - Cory

Goddamn you, you jelly fish. I want you to suck my cock. Yes, you and all your brothers too. And by my cock I mean Luigi's, cause I don't care about Luigi's cock, but I think he'd like it

I avoid all the fucking fish and then the flower kills me? I hate flowers. - Cory


(5/9/05)
RUN AWAYYYY....... - Steph
NO! - Adele
Run awayyy..... - Steph
STEPHANIE.... - Adele
This is amusing.... I'm not even trying to do it. I open my mouth and it just tumbles out. Its like song vomit - Steph


(5/11/05)
I was like, "Omaha, where's that state at? Idaho, that sounds like Omaha" - Jody


(5/12/05)
Sorry babe... oh shit - Ali, to me